Herpes
Parody of "Soul To Squeeze" by Red Hot Chili Peppers


I've got a bad disease
My doctor says that it is herpes
So now it's woe on me
As I take my shot of penicillin...

The alcohol, y'see...
Led to a night of debauchery
Out on a drunken spree
A short liason with a low-rent hooker

That cheap ho dealt me a blow
Now I'm burnin', burinin', burnin' down below
A good time some bump and grind
But this burnin's drivin' me out of my mind

That girl she tried to please
But the pain now brings me to my knees
A thousand tiny fleas
Are down there nibblin' on my pecker

That cheap ho dealt me a blow
Now I'm burnin', burinin', burnin' down below
A good time some bump and grind
But this itchin's drivin' me out of my mind

OUCH!!!! GOD!!!

Experience protects
Against the dreaded penile hex
So pass me my Valtrex
And take a number at the free clinic

That little hooker she was very sweet
She took me for a ride but now I've got herpes
I really didn't know just what she had in store
Now I'm sportin' my trophy it's a canker sore
Ding-a-ding-a-dang-a-dang-a-bong-bong
And I'm burnin', burinin', burnin' down on my ding dong
Well I achieved my goal and got me some trim-my
Now I've got a bunch of sores they're down there sittin' on my jimmy!

That cheap ho dealt me a blow
Now I'm burnin', burinin', burnin' down below
A good time some bump and grind
But this burnin's drivin' me out of my mind

That cheap ho gave me a blow
And I learned that that's just not the way to go
A good time some bump and grind
But this itchin's drivin' me out of my mind

* Song copyright Red Hot Chilipeppers, parody lyrics copyright Eric Tomme 1999